Sunday, May 2, 2010

Worship And The Funeral

When we get involved in people's lives, we usually have opportunity to do live with these people. That means baptisms and births, weddings and graduations andall kinds of special events. And sometimes that means funerals as well. Pamela is not just an employee. She is our neighbor, a fellow church member and a friend. Today we did a little bit of life with her.

In Honduras when someone dies, the funeral is the same day or, at the latest, the next day. Most people cannot afford the professional funeral services we know in the United States. That includes embalming, thus the need for the funeral to be so quick after death.

This morning we had worship had Pamela's house. That is not unusual in Honduras after a death. And that is the way she wanted it. And all the chairs from our church building had been moved to her house to accommodate the visitors during the vigil.

It was worship as we know it in Honduras and, yet it was different. The big difference was there was a casket sitting in the room. Our little church building would have been overflowing this morning, but this room in Pamela's house with a casket in it was more than stuffed. Even after worship started, people walked in and said hello. Others were praying out loud whenever the spirit moved them. Others would get up and look at the open casket. To my gringa mind, it was a bit distracting, but obviously not to the family or other Hondurans. Dorian did an absolutely beautiful sermon on the need to know Christ.

People continued to arrive all during worship and all the way until the time we left for the cemetary. The family had somehow managed to prepare enough food for all these guests. We were not going to take any, but the family insisted. We took as small of portions as they would give us and told the ones serving do not, under any circumstances, give the children seconds.

As 1:00 approached, the time for the funeral, the family went back in to say their good-byes. Then about twelve men picked up the casket and carried it. There were many people carrying flowers. We all walked to the cemetary. All along the way, there were groups of people standing and joining the funeral procession. There was something very humbling and meaningful about everyone walking together, grieving together, as opposed to getting in separate cars as we do in the States.

Once we got to the cemetary, the casket was reopened for the family one last time. Unlike in the States, there was no tent or chairs for the family. A few words were spoken and then several songs were sung as about six men filled in the grave and all the flowers were place on the top. And then we walked home.

Karen let the older children choose to go or not. Many of the children chose to go. They love Pamela and loved Ronnie. Children need to learn about death and how to act and what to do. All of the children hugged on Pamela all day, and cried with her. During worship, many of the children wanted to walk up to the open casket. If they wanted to, one of us up went with them. No one was forced to go. The children are processing this in the ways in which they are capable. But they understood what was happening.

I was responsible for Fernando today. He did very well, but we got to the cemetary, he wanted to be right up there by the grave. I kept saying no. Finally, one of our other employees said that is for family only and he seemed to be ok. He did want to walk up there after it was over and I walked up with him. And then he seemed to be satisfied.

Please continue to remember Pamela in your prayers. She has a lot of lonely days and nights ahead of her, as do Ronnie's parents and siblings.

Terri

1 comment:

Unknown said...

this is so sad to read. My condolences for your loss.