Thoughts On Leaving Honduras

Yesterday was a very long day.

After breakfast, we had the group on the bus on the way to the airport by 8:00. Marc knew they were wanding and frisking everyone at the airport and wanted to be there early. They did not start wanding and frisking until 9:00. We arrived before that and were able to walk right in and get in line. It wasn't long before there were long lines outside the airport as each person had to be wanded and frisked. We had 17 of our group confirmed on Delta and 6 on Continental. We had a long stand-by list and were able to get about six more out that way. Everyone else is now confirmed to leave Saturday morning.

My emotions were all over the map yesterday. It is really hard to describe the conflicting emotions. I love Honduras and the work we do and I could not believe political unrest was causing us to send a group home early. We shed a lot of tears. And I mean a lot. The group did not want to see part go home and part stay. No one wanted to leave unfinished work.

Personally, I could not believe I would leave before we got our group out. But on the other hand, I have missed Nicole's entire pregnancy. And her shower. I had no desire to not be with her when this baby is born. And if I had to leave early then I had to leave early. I would have been inconsolable if I wasn't with her in time. For months, I would have been inconsolable. It still didn't seem right that I would leave before some of the group. And it didn't seem right to stay and maybe not get out next week.

I was exhausted both physically and mentally. When I am tired, I cry easily. I was buying exit fees for part of the group and six of my friends went through security before I had the chance to say good-bye. I cried. I watched as the planes landed and no one got off. No one got off the planes when July is the busiest month of the year for mission groups to come and help the poor of Honduras. I cried as I thought what this mess is doing to the country and how many won't be helped. As the 17 flying Delta began to go through security, I hugged each one. And cried. They cried, too. No one wanted to leave under the circumstances in which we were leaving. I hugged the ones that were not leaving yesterday. And cried. I hugged Marc, knowing I was going to be with Nicole and he wasn't, and cried. I cried when I kept thinking I would soon be with Nicole.

I did pretty good after I cleared security and waited on my plane. There was a mission group leaving with whom I visited as we waited. They were not leaving early. They were scheduled to leave July 2. But as my plane left, the tears began to flow again. The thought of why I, and others, were leaving before we planned and all the people that aren't getting the help they need, brought those tears again. And the thought, I am on my way to be with daughter caused more tear.

Landing in the U.S., even if it was Miami, brought a few tears of joy. The grumpiness of the customs agents in Miami could have easily brought more tears. The thought of how long my layover was, did make me cry again. But when it was announced that my flight was delayed until 1:00 a.m, I took a real Honduran attitude and thought it is what it is. I cried at the thought of Matt and Nicole waiting on me all that time. I found an internet phone and left a message on Nicole's phone. The long hike to another gate, as tired as I was, threatened tears.

My flight continued to be delayed and I handled it well. When we finally, left for New Orleans after 2:00 a.m., there was gratefulness. I landed in New Orleans at 3:30 a.m. When I saw my beautiful 8 1/2 month+ pregnant daughter and my sweet son-in-law, I cried hard. And I didn't want to stop.

We got to Baton Rouge, stopped for donuts, and got to Matt and Nicole's at 5:30. I am so glad I am here and that I will be with Nicole when she has her baby. I am glad that I can spend the 4th of July in this country.

As we celebrate our independence day, tomorrow, lets not forget the problems in Honduras. I don't know details, but Marc says the next 24 or 48 hours there may be stuff happening. Many are fearful of what that stuff may be.

Just as I had mixed emotions yesterday about leaving Honduras earlier than expected, I still have mixed emotions. I would not be anywhere else except here with Nicole. At the same time, I am sad for the group that was forced to leave early, the groups that cannot come and for the state of affairs in Honduras.

I thank you all for your encouragement and prayers. Please don't stop those prayers. What happens this weekend in Honduras might be critical.

Terri