Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mother's Day

It has been less than three weeks since my mom died.  I am still raw. I miss her.  I want to talk to her again. I do not want her back in the form she was the last few days of her life.  But, I miss her terribly.

My mom was a great mom.  The best mom.  She loved God with all of her being and she wanted my sister and me to love Him also.  For both of us, our very first outing after birth was to church.

She loved my daddy more than any other person on earth.  She was the most devoted and loving wife.  And, she loved my sister and me.  Passionately.  With reckless abandon.  She was a mamma bear when it came to protecting us.  There is no doubt in my mind that she would have given her life to safe one of us.  She went to bat for us.  And, in going to bat for us or protecting us, she, at times, might not have been the nicest person on earth.  But, it was because of a mother's love.

She loved family.  Her family and my daddy's family.  Both families were equally important to her.

She cooked for all church members and neighbors when they were sick or grieving a lost family member.  She helped everyone in every way that she could.  We now know, there were many things she did for people that no one knew about but my mom and the person for whom she did it.  I think everyone of my cousins told us a story of something she had done for them when no one else knew.

She made very special memories for us.

I was blessed to be raised by her and blessed to call her mom.

In 1980, I became a mom for the first time.  My mom was so happy when I told her I was expecting a baby.  And, when Ryan was born, she was running through the hospital saying, "we got us a boy.  We got us a boy."

We were living in Amarillo when Ryan was born, an easy hour from Borger.  My first child did not like to sleep.  Ever.  He had colic.  Mom was working at T.G.& Y.  She had Thursdays off..  She drove to Amarillo on Wednesday after work and stayed Wednesday night and Thursday night with me so that I could sleep.  She drove back every Friday morning to work.  I know she must have been exhausted.  I appreciated that little sleep more than she will ever know.

I am blessed to be called Mom by Nathan and Nicole and to have been called Mom by Ryan for almost 20 years.

 Bless their hearts.  I did not have a clue what was I doing.  I made mistakes.  Big mistakes.  I was not always correct.  I was not always fair.  I was not always patient.  I think I was always tired.  I did not know what I was doing.  I did not know how to handle some situations, but I believe in a great big God.  I spent a lot of time on my knees talking to Him.

There were fun times and endearing times.  Sad times and happy times.

No matter what my shortcomings were and are, you guys always made me feel like, and still do, I could do anything, even when I could not.  We loved each other through the hard times.  And, in spite of me, in spite of my shortcomings, God took over and created beautiful adults with beautiful spouses and beautiful grandchildren.  I am proud of all of you.

I am blessed that God entrusted me to be your mom.

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