One Year Later

One year ago today, Casa de Esperanza closed.  It was a very sad day for everyone involved.  It was one of the saddest days of my life.  Like other big sadnesses, I thought I would never smile again, never laugh again, never find happiness again.  And, just like with the other big sadnesses, I learned to smile again, to be happy again.

There was so much fear, so much uncertainty. It was not easy to start over at my age and by myself.  But I was never alone.    The adjustment back to the States was and is hard.  It just seemed natural that I would go back to Texas.  Several people offered a place to live until I got on my feet.  I considered each offer.  But, Nicole sort of convinced me to come to Baton Rouge, especially after she told Emma that I was coming to Baton Rouge to live.

Baton Rouge was a good choice.  I would have been happy in Texas.  Or any where I chose to go.  I like Baton Rouge.  I like my church and my job.  I like being close to part of my family.

There are things I miss and don't miss about Honduras.  I do not miss the long lines at the bank.  You never even have to go to the bank in the States.  I don't miss the long drive back to the grocery store if I forgot something or just did not plan correctly.

I love worshipping in English every week, but I do miss simple church.

I do miss our long drives in the mountains.  I miss devotionals every morning with the kids.

I don't miss the never ending hours I was working.  I still work long hours, but not that long.

I miss coffee with Kelin on the mornings she worked.

I don't miss having to go to more than one pharmacy to get the meds that I or the children needed.

I miss the slower pace in Honduras, but love the franticness in the States, too.

And, I may never eat rice again.

As with every place I have lived, I left a piece of myself in Honduras.  I took a piece with of Honduras with me.  I miss friends, just as I do miss friends from other places.

No matter what I miss and don't miss about Honduras and no matter what I do and do not like about living in the States, I will always miss those children.  They all left big footprints across my heart.  I love them and miss them.  I am thankful that I can chat with some of them on Face Book, but it is not the same as their hugs and smiles.

I will be forever grateful for the 10 years I lived in Honduras.